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A handful of 7 year old children were asked, 'what they thought of beer.' Tim- 'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.' Melanie - 'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. Grady -...

"Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night." So I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the...

Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?' His Grandpa was a little taken...

Wow, wife was pissed when she found out I donated her sweater to Goodwill, but not as mad as she would have been if she’d found out I shrunk it in the dryer.

Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in Northern Arizona , when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the Indian got...

A soft mint and an extra strong mint are sitting in a pub. The strong mint is giving it some, trying to make out he's pretty tough. "Alright then," says the soft mint, "if you're so tough, you've got to take on the next sweet through the door." "Done," says the strong mint, feeling pretty self...

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young...

Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the door of their psychiatrist’s office. “Hello, there,” said one. “Are you coming or going?” “If I knew that,” said the other, “I wouldn’t be here.”

Tired of the modern world, a businessman visited a monastery to seek a simpler life. Entering the monastery, he saw monks in simple robes practicing their meditations and tending to the grounds. "Ahh," he thought, "here is a life free from distraction!" But walking into the study halls, he...

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped...

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical...

There was this woman who had bags under her eyes and wanted to get them removed so she could look younger so she went to a plastic surgeon. She tells the doctor I cant get rid of these bags please help me. The doctor says he is gonna try and new experimental technique on her. He will put a crank...

A young girl was practicing the piano when suddenly there was loud pounding on the front door. She opened it and here was a Police Officer. "What's the matter?" she asked. "Where's the body?" demanded the officer. "What are you talking about?" she asked. The officer replied: "We just got a...

A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?” The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked...